50 Years

Today I celebrate my 50th birthday. I know this is a big one. Right?

For a long time now I’ve known this day was coming, and at the appointed day I’d leave my 40s behind me. At the same time, I felt ambivalent about it. It’s not that I don’t like celebrating my birthday. I love cake as much as any other guy. We even have traditions in my house on my birthday.  It’s all fun for me and who doesn’t like being special every once in a while?

The thing I’ve felt ambivalent about is the gravity of the integer. If turning 50 was supposed to be a big turning point, I don’t feel it. Indeed I woke up today feeling a lot like I felt last night, back when I was in my 40s. I don’t feel older. I don’t feel suddenly smart or senile. I definitely don’t feel wiser.

Instead, my root feeling is the same that it has been for the past several years … satisfaction.

I had a great run in my 40s. My MacSparky thing got pretty big. I wrote some books. I started some podcasts. I quit my law firm and started my own legal practice. And I did all of that on my own terms. Looking back at the last decade, I made a pretty good showing. Best of all, where I did fall on my face, and that happened plenty, I was able to stand back up and keep marching.

I think it is that underlying satisfaction that explains why I’m not too worked up about turning fifty today. I also think that’s why I’ve never experienced a midlife crisis. In my head, at least, I’m just getting started. I’ve got more plans and optimism at this point in my life than I’ve ever had.

There isn’t really a point to this post. It started out as a diary entry, but as I read it, I realized that the reason for my very happy 50th birthday is that people just like you care enough to read my blog, my books, and listen to my podcasts and I wanted to share and say thanks.

Thank you … for everything.