I want to talk about stretch goals, because I think they’re doing you more harm than good.
The idea sounds reasonable. You pick your top three priorities for the week, then you add a few more items labeled “stretch goals.” If you get to them, great. If not, no pressure. Except that’s not how your brain works. (Or at least mine.)
Your brain sees five things on the list. It doesn’t care about the label. It sees five commitments. And by the time you finish your actual priorities (if you finish them), you’re looking at those stretch goals and feeling like you failed. The word “stretch” doesn’t protect you from the guilt of not getting to them.
We’ve all got the scars from committing to too much. And stretch goals, in my opinion, are just one more self-inflicted injury. Force yourself to be realistic with your tasks for the day. That’s one of the reasons I like putting my final list for the day on a note card or in a pocket notebook. There is only so much room on the page.
That’s the shift. Going from “I have a lot to do, and I’ll see how far I get” to “I chose these three things, and I’m going to do them, hell or high water.” It changes your whole relationship with the work.
I don’t have a hard number myself. Sometimes it’s one big thing for the week. Sometimes it’s five, but when it’s five, a lot of them are small. It’s never more than five. And I stopped doing stretch goals entirely.
If you finish your priorities early, that’s not an invitation to add more work. That’s a reward. Go read a book. Take your dog for a walk. Call a friend. The fact that you finished your priorities means the system is working. Don’t punish yourself for being effective by piling on more.
If you can’t bring yourself to cut the list down, at least be honest with yourself: those extra items aren’t stretch goals. They’re wishes. And wishes don’t belong on a planning document.
